My dear friend loaned me the book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, several years ago. But I never read it. Then as I was going through my books before the movers came last month, I had the thought that maybe I would appreciate its message in this new chapter of transition. I finally opened the book today and settled in to hear what God may want to tell me about my new transition/move. Below is an excerpt that I thought was interesting and has left me pondering. If you are in the middle of transition, whether brought on by you or imposed on you, whether happy or sad, I think you would appreciate not only this excerpt but the entire book.

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, pages xii, 8,13-16
By William Bridges

“Our society confuses [change/transition] constantly, leading us to imagine that transition is just another word for change. But it isn’t. Change is your move to a new city or your shift to a new job. It is the birth of your new baby or the death of a loved one…In other words, change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t ‘take.’…

[All transitions are composed of] (1) an ending, followed by (2) a period of confusion and distress, leading to, (3) a new beginning…There are ways of facilitating transitions, and they begin with recognizing that letting go is at best an ambiguous experience. They involve seeing transition in a new light, of understanding the various phases of the transition. They involve developing new skills for negotiating the perilous passage across the ‘nowhere’ that separates the old life situation from the new. But before that can be done, you need to understand your own characteristic way of coping with endings.

One way to do this is to think back over the endings in your own life. Go back to your early childhood and recall the first experiences involving endings that you can remember. Some may have been large and terrible–deaths in the family, for instance; others may have been insignificant to everyone except you–your parents’ departure on a trip, the death of a pet, or a friend’s moving away. Continue forward on this tour of your life history and note all of the endings you can recall along the way. Some were physical; others involved relationships inside and outside the family. Some involved places, social groups, hobbies, interests, or sports; others involved responsibilities, training, or jobs. Some endings may be hard to describe. They have few outward signs, but they may leave long-lasting scars; the ending of innocence or trust, for example, or the ending of irresponsibility. How many such endings can you retrieve from your memory?…

What you bring with you to a transitional situation is the style you have developed for dealing with endings. The product of early experience and late influence, this style is your own way of dealing with external circumstances and the inner distress they stir up. Your style is likely to reflect your childhood family situation, for transitions tend to send family members off to do different tasks: One person feels all the grief and anxiety for the entire group, another comforts the mourner, another takes over the routine responsibilities, and yet another goes into a sort of parody of ‘being in control of the situation.’…

Looking back over your ending experiences, what can you say about your own style of bringing situations to a close? It is abrupt and designed to deny the impact of the change, or is it so slow and gradual that it is hard to see that anything important is happening? Do you tend to be active or passive in these terminal situations?…

Although it is advantageous to understand your own style of endings, some part of you will resist that understanding as though your life depended on it. If this process of recollection activates that part of you, you’ll find it hard to remember past endings or to see that you have a characteristic way of responding to them. Let that be. Just note your difficulty and try a different approach to the same question. Think about how you tend to act at the end of an evening at a friends’s house or a night on the town. Do you try to drag things out by starting new conversations and activities as others seems to be ready to leave, or do you say suddenly that it was a nice evening and dash out? Or what about some recent larger ending: leaving a job or moving from a neighborhood. Did you say goodbye to everyone, or did you leave a day ahead of schedule just so that you could avoid the goodbyes?

Everyone finds endings difficult, so your own style is not a sign that you have some ‘problem’ that others don’t have. The person who leaves early and the one who stays late are both avoiding endings and the discomfort of facing a break in the continuity of things. Whether you are a dasher or a lingerer is largely a result of how you learned to avoid the ‘party’s-over’ experience as a child. You might, on the other hand, have learned back then that although some endings are unavoidable they do not usually bring unendurable distress, and that dealing with them at the time avoids difficulty later; you are likely to try to take the experience one step at a time, saying goodbyes and moving on to whatever comes next…”

***

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

I read this chapter in Invitations from God a couple of weeks ago and I have been mulling over the truth ever since. I think we all can relate–whether we’re waiting on pregnancy, a job, marriage, healing…the list goes on and on!

Invitations from God by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, pgs 135,137, 143, 145, 147, 148:

“Waiting is one of God’s immensely sweeping invitations. To wait expectantly and with open hands requires a relinquishment of control that gets at the roots of our motivations, fears, and idolatries. It is where we learn that God isn’t a genie and that happiness is not a matter of God meeting our expectations. While we wait, we can sense the naked vulnerability of trust…

Waiting unearths what is in our hearts. It exposes what happens when our expectations go unmet…Waiting for God is rooted in the expectancy that He is actually coming through on His word–even when we can’t see it. Expectant waiting requires an openness to something good happening beyond our expectations. Expectations are what get us into trouble while we wait. We expect God to do thing in a certain way. We have expectations about timing: our timing. Expectations bind our happiness to one particular end…

When the heart is filled with expectations, waiting is calculated and close-minded. However, when the heart is expectant, waiting can be spontaneous and anticipatory of the future God desires for me even if it is different from the one I want. Often it is in the waiting that the heart’s motivations become clear. As the time lengthens and what we want isn’t forthcoming, we see how attached we are to our own expectations and time table…

The space between desire and demand is a risky waiting place. It is the place where we go to wait with God and let go of control. The place t desire and demand can hold longings, disappointments, loss, unmet expectations, joys and deep gratitude. It is the place where we learn to attach ourselves fully to God’s will rather than our own so that we can wait with open hands with hope and trust…

As I long for [the] things [I wait for], I need to step into the space between demand and desire and wait with God. In that graced and sometimes painful place, expectations can give way to expectancy and an open-ended waiting on God’s goodness. God’s goodness anchors my waiting. It is not a matter of if God’s goodness will come through; it’s only a matter of when…

If you are waiting, it doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t mean that God hasn’t heard you. It’s not a waste of time. God is at work making you into a person with the character and integrity that you need in order to participate in His dream for this world. You are in a moment in which you are developing a discerning, expectant heart.  You are in a place where you can contemplate evidence of the unseen hand of God and grow in trust. Between desire and demand, the Holy Spirit gates at us and gives us grace–grace to wait and to see when God answers our prayers, not if.”

May we wait well with expectant hearts.

I have been devouring the book, Invitations from God, that I received for Christmas from my Mother-in-law. I love when a book speaks directly to what you’re learning, and that is what this book has been doing for me. I found the following words very convicting, challenging, and encouraging. I hope they cause you to ponder your life as they have for me.

Invitations from God by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, pgs 14-17:

“In our culture, the more invitations that come our way, the more valuable we are considered to be. The more clubs or associations we belong to, the more status we have–especially if we had to be nominated and wait to be invited in. By saying yes to the invitations, we prove that we are important, wanted and–of course–busy. The truth, however, is that when we say yes to invitations that keep us compulsively busy, we may be exhibiting a lazy ambivalence that actually keeps us distracted from the invitations that matter most. Squeezing every margin to the max, we are left with less time and space to respond to the invitations from God. We want to enjoy life, but ironically our many yeses to invitations keep us stressed, drained, and inattentive to the divine invitations that bring freedom and belonging. So it is that we say, ‘I can’t come. I’m really busy. Please excuse me’ to the most important invitation we receive. We’ve chosen to say yes to things besides God.

As the flood of invitations from organizations, business, charities, family entertainment, athletics, fitness and education pull us in their wake, we must grab a branch and take stock. Are we ignoring the invitations that matter most’?…Do we have any idea what God’s invitations to us are? Do our yeses to invitations simply divert or stroke our ego? Or do they nurture and grow body, soul, and spirit? Do they build connections within the body of Christ and bring health to our marriage and family? Do the invitations we accept us make us more free or less? Which invitations are shaping your world?…

God’s invitations are meant to mend, shape, and anchor and grow us into the character of Jesus. They call us into our true selves in Christ. They free us from the lie that says, ‘The more invitations the better.’ Invitations from the Holy One serve God’s dream for the world. They don’t call me to become what I produce, what others thing of me or what I know. They invite me to be free. And freedom comes from being an intentional follower of Jesus–one who is a little Christ in this world…

As we accept the divine invitations, an inner knowing of our belonging to God takes root. This root taps into the healing wisdom and love of God, and it braces us against the storm of deforming likes that we are unwanted and don’t matter to anyone unless we produce. In our yeses to God, trust blossoms out as fruit and freedom.”

May we say yes to God’s invitations and discover more of who we are in the process.

Just a quick note to ask for your prayers for me during my routine MRI scan tomorrow (Thursday). I am praying for no sign of cancer anywhere in my body and that God would continue to prepare my body to become pregnant in His timing and His way. Thank you for your encouragement during this journey!

On the way home from visiting Jared’s parents’ for Christmas, Jared and I listened to the newest Passion CD, Here For You. I especially liked the song “Lord, I Need You.” Since I get to listen to music while laying inside the claustrophobic tube tomorrow, I am going to request this song over and over so I can be reminded of some good truth!

Lord, I Need You
by Chris Tomlin

Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the one that guides my heart

Chorus:
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness

Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Bridge:
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus You’re my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus You’re my hope and stay

I am LOVING this song. It is such a good one to get stuck in your head!

“Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for you my are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:5

My Hope Is In You by Aaron Shust

I meet with You and my soul sings out
As Your word throws doubt far away
I sing to You and my heart cries Holy!
Hallelujah, Father, You’re near!

(Chorus)
My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long
I won’t be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing
My hope is in You, Lord

I wait for You and my soul finds rest
In my selfishness, You show me grace
I worship You and my heart cries Glory
Hallelujah, Father You’re here!

Chorus

I will wait on You
You are my refuge
I will wait on You
You are my refuge

I will wait on You
You are my refuge
I will wait on You
You are my refuge

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long
I won’t be shaken by drought or storm
My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long
I won’t be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing
My hope is in You, Lord

I have been thinking a lot this holiday season about how to keep focused on the real purpose of Christmas: Jesus. I can so easily get caught up in the Christmas shopping, parties, decorating, and cards that I forget to stop and reflect on why I am celebrating this holiday in the first place. So that being said, I have been looking for books and articles to help my mind refocus on the true meaning of Christmas. A few days ago, I picked up a book, Christmas Jars by Jason F. Wright, that was sitting on our bookshelf. I have no idea where it came from (If you gave it to me, thanks!) but it looked like a great short read with an inspirational message. That proved to be true; I read it in one day! I actually couldn’t put it down. It is a wonderful fictional story about a woman who is a reporter and is trying to investigate the origin behind jars given out on Christmas Eve to people in need. I won’t ruin the story for you because it really is a delightful read but here is an excerpt of an article the reporter wrote in the newspaper that encompasses a bit of the message.

“…During that shuffling in and out of my apartment that memorable night, an anonymous angel left a jar filled with coins and a few 20-dollar bills. On it was inscribed: “The Christmas Jar.” I found no name and no explanation…Over the ensuing days I became obsessed with knowing who had been so kind to me and why…

Though I cannot know how many have been similarly affected by the Christmas Jar tradition, I sense the number is impressive. I suspect many of you today will take jars you’ve kept tucked away in your homes and deliver them to someone in need. Those needs will vary from social to emotional and of course, to financial.

The decision about whom to bless will be made in private ways and in private places. Some will gather around kitchen tables later this morning; others will kneel in prayer on soft living room rugs. Some will not decide until the car seemingly stops itself beside some lonely wanderer.

In the days that come, neither givers nor receivers will discuss their experiences beyond the walls of their homes. But by the week’s end, and without much fanfare, someone will wash a new jar, cleaning it until it sparkles and reflects his or her kind countenance. Then with caring hands this person will wipe it dry and place it in its familiar spot.

That night, one by one, family members will empty their pockets and delight at the clink of change hitting the empty glass bottom. Most days will yield a quarter, a dime, perhaps two nickels and a stray penny…

Over the months that follow, the gathering change will leave no recognizable void. Occasionally the temptation to borrow for laundry, a movie, or the ice-cream truck will float through the house, over the jar, and out the back door. But it never lands.  The money is spoken for.

Over the course of twelve months these jars will fill slowly but with purpose. Every day, if only for an instant, the benefactor will consider Christmas. For most, including this reporter, there will be a sweet daily reminder of what this day we call Christmas means. Most will pause, if only for an instant, to consider the miracle of a perfect boy born in a manger under the brilliant star that predicted it all” (pgs 103-105).

May we pause and listen beyond the hustle and bustle for the ways that God is prompting us to give back to others this Christmas season.

I mentioned that I have been studying the Bible study, Believing God by Beth Moore. I thought today for the Wednesday Wisdom Well I would share some of my favorite excerpts on the subject of faith:

**”Our glorious faith walk began with an act of faith that brought us into relationship with Jesus Christ as our Savior, but it doesn’t end there! Having believed in Him, we are called to continue believing all He came to do and say! Tragically, some who have believed in Christ have believed little of Him since. He who began a work in us wants to accomplish far more. God is calling us to leave the passive life bred by a past-tense view of faith and participate in present-active-participle believing! ["When you see a present active participle Greek verb, you can think of the word continually preceding the verb."] …God exerts incomparable power in the lives of those who continue believing Him. Nothing on earth compares to the strength God willingly interjects into the lives caught in the act of believing…Scripture is stacked with truths and promises we are invited to personally apply and believe God to fulfill in our lives. The Bible bulges with opportunities to be caught in the act of believing God.” (pages 10-11)

**”Our call to prioritize God and our faith in Him through Jesus Christ is reciprocated in stunning ways certainly not owed to us…God has already promised that when we seek Him, we will find Him. Is that not enough? Do we need rewards as well? And yet He promises! (Hebrews 11:6)…God’s pleasure is the end. Our faith is the means. You and I are invited to believe God. The eye-opening news may be that we can also believe Him for a reward, as long as the desire for reward doesn’t exceed our desire for Him personally. Sooner or later, Dear One, your God-seeking faith will be rewarded. You will never outspend God.” (page 15)

**”Though God makes countless merciful expectations, He still reserves the right to supernaturally respond most readily to faith. Remember what we’ve learned: faith fills the gap between our theology and our reality. Much of the body of Christ is paralyzed by unbelief. Our unbelief has likely ushered us into a frustrating, disabling cycle: we believe little, so we see little, so we continue to believe little and see little…God is not offended by our requests for supernatural intervention. On the contrary, God is pleased when we exercise faith. God is offended when our desire for signs and wonders eclipses our desire for Him or becomes a request for God to prove Himself.” (page 49)

**Dear One, we can’t let our fear that God may not affirmatively answer our every prayer keep us from praying! No, we’re not likely to get everything we ask. You will be hard pressed to find anyone in Scripture who did. Including Christ. Check out the garden of Gethsemane. What if these men of God hasn’t asked anything because they couldn’t have everything? Can you imagine the loss? As we pray fervently and faithfully, we will experience many astounding and affirmative answers. Pray on, Beloved!” (page 67)

**”Few of us will escape a painful opportunity to be offended with Christ. I have little doubt it is part of the believer’s life test…At times we’ll be tempted to think, If Christ is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do, and I am His beloved, why isn’t He coming through for me? Is it our insignificance? Is He too busy to notice? Or is the situation simply not critical to the overall plan? Are we or is our loved one simply dispensable? Blessed are we when we could be offended and choose with every shred of tattered faith not to be...Will we not ask because we are afraid of being offended? Embarrassed? Disappointed? Or will we ask, knowing that He is able but trusting that He is good if He doesn’t act? Blessed are we if we are not offended with Jesus.” (page 70)

May we believe God is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do!

I recently bought (Music Inspired By) The Story CD and have loved listening to songs written from the perspective of many central Bible characters. I highly recommend it. One of my favorite songs is the “Who But You” written from the perspective of Abraham and Sarah. This particular story is quite special to me as I have deeply resonated with Romans 4:18-22:

“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.  Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,  being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”

My favorite part is that Abraham was “fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised”; He didn’t know how God would act but he rested confidently in the fact that God certainly could do a miracle if He chose. Oh, for that kind of faith to believe Him!

Who But You?
sung by Mark Hall and Meghan Garrett from Casting Crowns
written by Nichole Nordeman

Too little too late
His time has come and gone
Is that what they say when I walk by?
I’ve got a little more grey
My steps are slow and long
And the promise You’ve made fades in the moonlight
I see a star
You see the Milky Way
I see one man counting sand
But You see generations

Who, but You, would ever choose
To dream Your dream in me?
Tell me who, but You, would dare me to
Believe what I can’t see
Who, but You?

You’d think by now
It wouldn’t bother me
The hush from the crowd when I walk by
And you’d think somehow
I ‘d let my heart believe
It’s time to let go of lullabies
I see a star
You see a galaxy
There’s just one hope
Just one way
These arms will not stay empty

Chorus

So call me crazy
Call me a fool
You alone can do the things You promised to
You are Yahweh
I’m just a man
I’m counting tiny grains of sand
Placing every promise in Your hand
Great and Mighty God, I believe. I believe You.
Keeper of the stars, I believe. I believe You.

A friend of mine sent me this devotional because we share the similar struggle with fear. I really appreciated Charles Spurgeon’s insights, especially his questions toward the bottom of the post. May we take God at His word, confidently claiming that “He has been with us in six troubles, [He] will not forsake us in the seventh.”

“This Morning’s Meditation: October 17, 2011″ by Charles Spurgeon

“And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul.”—1 Samuel 27:1.

“The thought of David’s heart at this time was a false thought, because he certainly had no ground for thinking that God’s anointing him by Samuel was intended to be left as an empty unmeaning act. On no one occasion had the Lord deserted His servant; he had been placed in perilous positions very often, but not one instance had occurred in which divine interposition had not delivered him. The trials to which he had been exposed had been varied; they had not assumed one form only, but many—yet in every case He who sent the trial had also graciously ordained a way of escape. David could not put his finger upon any entry in his diary, and say of it, “Here is evidence that the Lord will forsake me,” for the entire tenor of his past life proved the very reverse. He should have argued from what God had done for him, that God would be his defender still. But is it not just in the same way that we doubt God’s help? Is it not mistrust without a cause? Have we ever had the shadow of a reason to doubt our Father’s goodness? Have not His lovingkindnesses been marvellous? Has He once failed to justify our trust? Ah, no! our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love has shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head He has held aloft the shield of our defense. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that He who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that He will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence. How can we ever be so ungenerous as to doubt our God? Lord, throw down the Jezebel of our unbelief, and let the dogs devour it.”

Wednesday Wisdom Well

This well serves a unique drink:
Words that refresh and cause you to think.

I really enjoy Nichole Nordeman’s honest lyrics. The song, “What If,” recently came back to mind and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I love how she addresses such a relevant topic about faith, doubt, and questions.

“What If” by Nichole Nordeman

What if you’re right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right?
What if it’s true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That’s all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you’re wrong?